Will You Be My Friend?
Mar. 29th, 2013 01:38 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
themuziqloverA/N: Inspired by this video. Just some Baekyeol word vomit while I procrastinate all my real work. Ugh. Yeahp, so please enjoy ^ ^
It’s not that Chanyeol’s antisocial or a hermit or a loner in any way. In fact, he’s plenty social.
Sometimes maybe a little bit too social.
When Chanyeol was four years old and just beginning to attend the nearby kindergarten, he’d been as excited and as enthusiastic as any regular toddler. At least, up until it actually came to going and he’d been forced to face one of his greatest fears (though he didn’t know it at the time) - people. He vaguely remembers walking into the bright room, heading straight for the colorful toys and fluffy stuffed animals, and spending the rest of his early childhood happily playing with them for as long as he pleased. According to his mom, however, what he doesn’t remember is sitting alone in the corner with those toys and avoiding all possible human contact until his teacher had been forced to call home and consult his parents.
Needless to say, his mom gave him a long talking to, trying patiently to coax him out of his timid shell with minimal results, that is, until Chanyeol learned to feel guilty for his mother’s constant worrying halfway through his elementary school years.
And so, antisocial Chanyeol learned to replace himself with overly social Chanyeol.
“Oh. My. Gosh. Why is his smile so.... smiley.”
“I mean, he’s nice and all but he... well, how do you say this...”
“He tries too hard, that’s what.”
Chanyeol can hear them much clearer than he would like. He doesn’t stop smiling, though, if anything, he smiles wider as he chats with his friends at their lunch table because this is high school and you’ve got to keep your head held high to survive. Someone at the end of the bench cracks a joke and the whole table erupts in laughter and Chanyeol laughs along, dismissing the fact that he doesn’t actually know what the guy said. But it’s okay, he reasons. Because at least he’s not sitting alone.
“Hey, you guys wanna go get some dinner after school? To celebrate our temporary freedom?”
Chanyeol turns his head towards the voice, straining to discreetly locate the source. It’s an opportunity. And he has to take it.
“Yeah, sure, why not?”
Chanyeol watches helplessly as they go around the table asking people to join them. Soohyun, Jonghyun, Minhyuk, Donghae, Jihoon, Chaerin, Yewon, Jaekyung, Eunji, Yoonjae. And Chanyeol pretends to be nonchalant, casually checking his phone for nonexistent text messages.
“So, who’s riding with whom? I have space for four people in my car!”
Chanyeol tunes out the rest of the conversation.
By the time he gets to university, Chanyeol’s pretty much resigned himself to being that one person that gets along with everyone but is friends with no one. He knows he may be a little obnoxious sometimes, can be loud and a little brash, and is, for a fact, the clumsiest, most uncoordinated person on the planet, but sometimes he finds himself wondering when he’ll find that person he can actually call his best friend without wondering if they consider him their best friend too.
He does meet some nice people in his classes, thankfully, people who have matured beyond high school drama actually exist. Kyungsoo, Jongin, and Sehun are all genuinely friendly to him, despite the ridiculously long time it took to establish that. But even though Chanyeol honestly knows he can call them friends, Kyungsoo and Jongin often go out on their own “best bro bonding” sessions (Chanyeol secretly envies them) and leaves him to be the third wheel to Sehun’s budding relationship with Luhan.
And Chanyeol absolutely hates the moment he scrolls through his contacts list looking for someone else to call. He doesn’t know why he still does it. It always ends the same way, anyway.
Chanyeol sits alone on his bed, scrolling absently through his Facebook, watching all his friends live life the way he wishes he could have.
It was a regular day for Chanyeol, as frustratingly monotonous as any other. Wake up, go to Starbucks, get some coffee, walk down the street, look at all the things he can’t buy, walk by the random ball pit in the middle of the street.
Wait.
A ball pit. That’s new. Chanyeol likes ball pits.
Chanyeol decides “screw it” and climbs into the ball pit.
It’s fun, going back to his childhood in that one moment, and Chanyeol enjoys himself with his coffee and the rainbow colored plastic balls surrounding him for a good ten minutes before he notices another man walking up to the ball pit.
And climbing in.
What the hell.
Chanyeol stops his movements and scoots over to the far corner of the pit, watching warily as the man jumps easily into the ball pit, pushing some over the edge in the process. The man looks up, seeming to have only noticed Chanyeol, and an awkward silence ensues.
“Hi.”
“Hi.”
“What are you doing in my ball pit?”
“You’re ball pit?”
Chanyeol nods vigorously.
“Well, you know the sign above it does say ‘Take a seat & Make a friend’. I do believe you need more than one person for that.”
Chanyeol glances up at the sign sticking up from the back of the pit. Then back down at the man. Then back up. Then back at the man.
Well.
“Let’s do this again, shall we? Hi! My name is Byun Baekhyun, I like puppies and singing, and I’m currently a university student majoring in Applied Music. Nice to meet you and I really hope you’re not a creepy stalker-slash-serial killer!”
Chanyeol is pleasantly surprised to find that Baekhyun attends the same university as him.
He’s also pleasantly surprised to find that Baekhyun has a beautiful voice, is funny and quirky and sincere, and honest almost to a fault. Baekhyun is almost as chatty as Chanyeol is with over double the sass and quick wit and Chanyeol finds himself feeling more comfortable and at home in those forty-some minutes in the ball pit than he has in the last ten years of his life.
They talk about music, life, school, their friends, their family. Everything. Eventually though, Baekhyun has to leave and Chanyeol mentally berates himself for actually thinking sitting in a ball pit could go on forever. Baekhyun smiles with the crinkles around his eyes, hops out and guides all of Chanyeol’s flailing limbs out with him.
“Well, this has been fun.”
Chanyeol looks up from fixing his rumpled sweater to see Baekhyun grinning at him. Chanyeol smiles, straightening up and scratching the back of his neck.
“Yeah, it has.”
Chanyeol sways slightly, as if unsure of what to do now that their time in the ball pit is over. Does he leave? Pretend like this was just a fun one time thing? Or do they go off together? Maybe talk some more in some place that isn’t a ball pit?
“Hey Chanyeol, can I ask you something?”
Chanyeol nods.
“Do you think it worked?”
“What?”
“Did you make a friend?”
Chanyeol blinks.
“Yeah, um, I guess. If... you call us friends? I’d really like to think we are...”
Baekhyun’s smile is almost blinding but Chanyeol refuses to look away.
“Friends it is then.”
Later, many years from now, Chanyeol will remind Baekhyun of the first day they met, one sunny day long ago, in a ball pit in the middle of the street.
Later, Chanyeol will pull Baekhyun by the hand to that same spot, mentally thanking whoever it was who decided putting the ball pit there would be a good idea, and they’ll laugh and swing their arms, maybe buy some Starbucks and look at all the things they still can’t buy.
Later, Chanyeol will snuggle up to Baekhyun on the couch and complain about work, complain about life, and rant as Baekhyun runs fingers through his hair.
Chanyeol will come home to open arms and a kiss, maybe a late night movie with popcorn and ice cream because tomorrow’s a Sunday and nobody has to get up early or worry about real life.
And Chanyeol will be happy because before anything else, before the title of boyfriend or lover, Baekhyun is his best friend.
But for now, he’s just earned himself a friend.
And that’s enough for him.
He can wait for ‘later’ to come.
And when it does, he’ll be ready.
It’s not that Chanyeol’s antisocial or a hermit or a loner in any way. In fact, he’s plenty social.
Sometimes maybe a little bit too social.
When Chanyeol was four years old and just beginning to attend the nearby kindergarten, he’d been as excited and as enthusiastic as any regular toddler. At least, up until it actually came to going and he’d been forced to face one of his greatest fears (though he didn’t know it at the time) - people. He vaguely remembers walking into the bright room, heading straight for the colorful toys and fluffy stuffed animals, and spending the rest of his early childhood happily playing with them for as long as he pleased. According to his mom, however, what he doesn’t remember is sitting alone in the corner with those toys and avoiding all possible human contact until his teacher had been forced to call home and consult his parents.
Needless to say, his mom gave him a long talking to, trying patiently to coax him out of his timid shell with minimal results, that is, until Chanyeol learned to feel guilty for his mother’s constant worrying halfway through his elementary school years.
And so, antisocial Chanyeol learned to replace himself with overly social Chanyeol.
“Oh. My. Gosh. Why is his smile so.... smiley.”
“I mean, he’s nice and all but he... well, how do you say this...”
“He tries too hard, that’s what.”
Chanyeol can hear them much clearer than he would like. He doesn’t stop smiling, though, if anything, he smiles wider as he chats with his friends at their lunch table because this is high school and you’ve got to keep your head held high to survive. Someone at the end of the bench cracks a joke and the whole table erupts in laughter and Chanyeol laughs along, dismissing the fact that he doesn’t actually know what the guy said. But it’s okay, he reasons. Because at least he’s not sitting alone.
“Hey, you guys wanna go get some dinner after school? To celebrate our temporary freedom?”
Chanyeol turns his head towards the voice, straining to discreetly locate the source. It’s an opportunity. And he has to take it.
“Yeah, sure, why not?”
Chanyeol watches helplessly as they go around the table asking people to join them. Soohyun, Jonghyun, Minhyuk, Donghae, Jihoon, Chaerin, Yewon, Jaekyung, Eunji, Yoonjae. And Chanyeol pretends to be nonchalant, casually checking his phone for nonexistent text messages.
“So, who’s riding with whom? I have space for four people in my car!”
Chanyeol tunes out the rest of the conversation.
By the time he gets to university, Chanyeol’s pretty much resigned himself to being that one person that gets along with everyone but is friends with no one. He knows he may be a little obnoxious sometimes, can be loud and a little brash, and is, for a fact, the clumsiest, most uncoordinated person on the planet, but sometimes he finds himself wondering when he’ll find that person he can actually call his best friend without wondering if they consider him their best friend too.
He does meet some nice people in his classes, thankfully, people who have matured beyond high school drama actually exist. Kyungsoo, Jongin, and Sehun are all genuinely friendly to him, despite the ridiculously long time it took to establish that. But even though Chanyeol honestly knows he can call them friends, Kyungsoo and Jongin often go out on their own “best bro bonding” sessions (Chanyeol secretly envies them) and leaves him to be the third wheel to Sehun’s budding relationship with Luhan.
And Chanyeol absolutely hates the moment he scrolls through his contacts list looking for someone else to call. He doesn’t know why he still does it. It always ends the same way, anyway.
Chanyeol sits alone on his bed, scrolling absently through his Facebook, watching all his friends live life the way he wishes he could have.
It was a regular day for Chanyeol, as frustratingly monotonous as any other. Wake up, go to Starbucks, get some coffee, walk down the street, look at all the things he can’t buy, walk by the random ball pit in the middle of the street.
Wait.
A ball pit. That’s new. Chanyeol likes ball pits.
Chanyeol decides “screw it” and climbs into the ball pit.
It’s fun, going back to his childhood in that one moment, and Chanyeol enjoys himself with his coffee and the rainbow colored plastic balls surrounding him for a good ten minutes before he notices another man walking up to the ball pit.
And climbing in.
What the hell.
Chanyeol stops his movements and scoots over to the far corner of the pit, watching warily as the man jumps easily into the ball pit, pushing some over the edge in the process. The man looks up, seeming to have only noticed Chanyeol, and an awkward silence ensues.
“Hi.”
“Hi.”
“What are you doing in my ball pit?”
“You’re ball pit?”
Chanyeol nods vigorously.
“Well, you know the sign above it does say ‘Take a seat & Make a friend’. I do believe you need more than one person for that.”
Chanyeol glances up at the sign sticking up from the back of the pit. Then back down at the man. Then back up. Then back at the man.
Well.
“Let’s do this again, shall we? Hi! My name is Byun Baekhyun, I like puppies and singing, and I’m currently a university student majoring in Applied Music. Nice to meet you and I really hope you’re not a creepy stalker-slash-serial killer!”
Chanyeol is pleasantly surprised to find that Baekhyun attends the same university as him.
He’s also pleasantly surprised to find that Baekhyun has a beautiful voice, is funny and quirky and sincere, and honest almost to a fault. Baekhyun is almost as chatty as Chanyeol is with over double the sass and quick wit and Chanyeol finds himself feeling more comfortable and at home in those forty-some minutes in the ball pit than he has in the last ten years of his life.
They talk about music, life, school, their friends, their family. Everything. Eventually though, Baekhyun has to leave and Chanyeol mentally berates himself for actually thinking sitting in a ball pit could go on forever. Baekhyun smiles with the crinkles around his eyes, hops out and guides all of Chanyeol’s flailing limbs out with him.
“Well, this has been fun.”
Chanyeol looks up from fixing his rumpled sweater to see Baekhyun grinning at him. Chanyeol smiles, straightening up and scratching the back of his neck.
“Yeah, it has.”
Chanyeol sways slightly, as if unsure of what to do now that their time in the ball pit is over. Does he leave? Pretend like this was just a fun one time thing? Or do they go off together? Maybe talk some more in some place that isn’t a ball pit?
“Hey Chanyeol, can I ask you something?”
Chanyeol nods.
“Do you think it worked?”
“What?”
“Did you make a friend?”
Chanyeol blinks.
“Yeah, um, I guess. If... you call us friends? I’d really like to think we are...”
Baekhyun’s smile is almost blinding but Chanyeol refuses to look away.
“Friends it is then.”
Later, many years from now, Chanyeol will remind Baekhyun of the first day they met, one sunny day long ago, in a ball pit in the middle of the street.
Later, Chanyeol will pull Baekhyun by the hand to that same spot, mentally thanking whoever it was who decided putting the ball pit there would be a good idea, and they’ll laugh and swing their arms, maybe buy some Starbucks and look at all the things they still can’t buy.
Later, Chanyeol will snuggle up to Baekhyun on the couch and complain about work, complain about life, and rant as Baekhyun runs fingers through his hair.
Chanyeol will come home to open arms and a kiss, maybe a late night movie with popcorn and ice cream because tomorrow’s a Sunday and nobody has to get up early or worry about real life.
And Chanyeol will be happy because before anything else, before the title of boyfriend or lover, Baekhyun is his best friend.
But for now, he’s just earned himself a friend.
And that’s enough for him.
He can wait for ‘later’ to come.
And when it does, he’ll be ready.
