And All The Voices Say...
Jun. 18th, 2011 03:11 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
themuziqloverA/N: I don't really know what this is so... LOL in a bout of sudden overBEAST-ness, this came out haha.... And I'm really confused about all this LJ stuff.. did I tag this right? What if there isn't meant to be a pairing but it's focused on just two of them so somehow it comes off as having a pairing? I dunno..... anyway don't mind me~ I don't even know if I rated this right =__=
You're a disgrace
Hyunseung sighed and leaned back against the cold wall of his bedroom, his parents' voice still ringing in his ears. Every word they yelled at him playing over and over again in his mind, burning deep inside him. They wanted him to be a businessman, a doctor, a lawyer --- any respectable career for a respectable child of a respectable family. But no, Hyunseung wanted to perform. He wanted to dance an sing and stand onstage showing people what he loved being good at. For years, he'd kept this from his family, the desire growing steadily inside him. Every time he watched music shows or concert videos, every time he saw posters and announcements for auditions he would ultimately be forced to miss, every time he caught a glimpse of that life, his heart ached for it. He couldn't take it anymore.
A failure
He cried himself to sleep that night, the scene stuck on replay in his mind. He was just Hyunseung again. Not So-1, not anything. A failure. Just like his mother had told him when he left. Maybe she was right. She was always right at home, who's to say she wasn't right with this? He was confused, lost in himself. What was he going to do now? Go home? He couldn't even bear to think of it. He wasn't even sure he had a home anymore, didn't think he had anyone left to turn to.
He woke the next morning dreading the future, heck, dreading the next few hours. He gathered his thinygs slowly, trying to prolong his leaving, trying to sort out his life before it all fell apart. The shrill ring of his cellphone jerked him out of his thoughts. He picked up cautiously, bracing himself for whoever was on the other end of the line. Surprisingly, a quiet, gentle voice floated.
"Seung?"
And Hyunseung thinks perhaps ... perhaps he can still have hope.
Not good enough
That's what they all said. That's what he has learned to believe. He practices day in and day out, never satisfied with perfection. He'd finally been accepted into a company but it's still not enough. They tell him he needs to gain some weight so he tries, faithfully checking his progress on the scale. They tell him his voice needs work so he sings everyday, picking out all the notes he's missed and any slight shake in singing the higher melodies. They tell him he needs to add variety to his dancing so he learns new choreography, spending hours in front of the mirror until his body screams for a break. And even then, he continues pushing himself beyond his limit.
Junhyung worries for him and does his best to help his friend. But in his own quiet way, he understands. Understands why Hyunseung needs to push himself so hard, understands what Hyunseung's been through, understands that what Hyunseung really needs right now isn't pity or sympathy or advice but simply a friend who will listen and a home with someone to come home to.
You're a disgrace
Hyunseung sighed and leaned back against the cold wall of his bedroom, his parents' voice still ringing in his ears. Every word they yelled at him playing over and over again in his mind, burning deep inside him. They wanted him to be a businessman, a doctor, a lawyer --- any respectable career for a respectable child of a respectable family. But no, Hyunseung wanted to perform. He wanted to dance an sing and stand onstage showing people what he loved being good at. For years, he'd kept this from his family, the desire growing steadily inside him. Every time he watched music shows or concert videos, every time he saw posters and announcements for auditions he would ultimately be forced to miss, every time he caught a glimpse of that life, his heart ached for it. He couldn't take it anymore.
A failure
He cried himself to sleep that night, the scene stuck on replay in his mind. He was just Hyunseung again. Not So-1, not anything. A failure. Just like his mother had told him when he left. Maybe she was right. She was always right at home, who's to say she wasn't right with this? He was confused, lost in himself. What was he going to do now? Go home? He couldn't even bear to think of it. He wasn't even sure he had a home anymore, didn't think he had anyone left to turn to.
He woke the next morning dreading the future, heck, dreading the next few hours. He gathered his thinygs slowly, trying to prolong his leaving, trying to sort out his life before it all fell apart. The shrill ring of his cellphone jerked him out of his thoughts. He picked up cautiously, bracing himself for whoever was on the other end of the line. Surprisingly, a quiet, gentle voice floated.
"Seung?"
And Hyunseung thinks perhaps ... perhaps he can still have hope.
Not good enough
That's what they all said. That's what he has learned to believe. He practices day in and day out, never satisfied with perfection. He'd finally been accepted into a company but it's still not enough. They tell him he needs to gain some weight so he tries, faithfully checking his progress on the scale. They tell him his voice needs work so he sings everyday, picking out all the notes he's missed and any slight shake in singing the higher melodies. They tell him he needs to add variety to his dancing so he learns new choreography, spending hours in front of the mirror until his body screams for a break. And even then, he continues pushing himself beyond his limit.
Junhyung worries for him and does his best to help his friend. But in his own quiet way, he understands. Understands why Hyunseung needs to push himself so hard, understands what Hyunseung's been through, understands that what Hyunseung really needs right now isn't pity or sympathy or advice but simply a friend who will listen and a home with someone to come home to.
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no subject
Date: 2011-06-18 03:21 pm (UTC)Wish it were longer so we can have more JunSeung. Hahah. But this seems real and we totally know Hyunseung busted his guts to get to where he is now. He is soo loved. ♥
no subject
Date: 2011-06-19 03:28 am (UTC)Hm.. well it seemed kind of short for me too :)) and.... like... not finished.. but then I didn't know how to go past where I ended oTL oh the fail :)
Seungie is <3 He deserves everything he has now, ne? :D hihihi